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Below are the 3 most recent journal entries.

	2003.09.04  18.28 ...and then they actually bumped black and blue uglies..... Dear Rats and People, DIE! Okay, now that I got that out of my system…… I am sure you are all waiting to hear about last nights Vampire the Suckarade session. Well fuck you. They did not play. Ha! No, actually it was worse. Everyone cancelled, so Bob and Jane oops I mean Brad and Janet....errr Pandora and Azrael spent a quiet "romantic" goth night at home. Warning: This bit gets gross...disgusting human sex stuff too....you might not want to read on..... Okay, so they eat dinner...yeah yeah, el pollo fucking loco or some shit. Whatever. Look, I dont know what is the "in" goth food, but it sure as hell aint el pollo loco or that gay ass California Pizza Kitchen bullshit they bring home all the damn time. Okay so cut to the next scene, cause that shit was going nowhere. Zoom in on Pandy. She has on some reject leather jumperr thingy underneath what I could only call layers of black mosquito net. You know, all see throughish, but not? Hello! That whore Stevie Nicks called, she wants her lame ass wardrobe back! Okay ladies listen up.....If you look in the mirror and you look like one of the Heart sisters or Leather Tuscadaro, you are NOT GOTH! And combing the two together? You are not even fit to lick Anne Rice's crotchy, old...well crotch. Now, pan over to Bob the Knob. This skinny ass mother fucker makes Etheropian's (shout out to my my South Park peeps!) look like gluttons. Okay, so picture Snape in nothing but leather pants, shaped like a toothpick, but with a receding hairline at 23. Now add 10 more pounds of white pancake makeup, and you better take off another 15 lbs just to be safe. Hello Bob. Now, cue the music. And picture them gyrating 5 feet away from each other to Siouxie and the lame ass Banshees and everyone's favorite: Peekaboo! You people do not know how impossible it is to kill yourself without opposable thumbs. Running head first into the side of your cage over and over just knocks you uncounscious, it turns out. Okay, I could give you all the details of the strip show and the little impromptu photo shoot, but then I would have to admit my frightening role in all that. (Look, when they put my rat treats in her vaginal cavern, I am going for it, gross or not, camera or not. I can always deny to my rat friends it was me you know) So lets cut to goth sex. Its mother fucking body painting! Let me tell you how gross shaved cock and vagina look when covered with someone elses white geisha poundcake base and a combination of black lipstick, mascara, eyeliner, and blush. What? you cant picture it? Need help? Well fucking picture 6 month old strangled to death; all black and blue and pasty and fleshy. (Well you asked for it!) Okay, I have had enough of re-living last night. Why could'nt I just be left in my cage like a good little rat, instead of being forced to watch that shit from the corner of the bed. Fuck you all, I am out of here...... Mood: nauseated

	2003.09.03  10.15 The Ratsquerade! Okay, lets get something clear….its hump day…..H-U-M-P day. The middle of the week. The half way point. The night that married men everywhere might actually ‘get some’ on a week night. I know these things, I am a rat. We have a network. We know. Do you know what tonight is here in this hell mouth apartment of gothdom? Vampire the Masquerade night. Yes, you read me right...Vampire the Motherfucking Masquerade. And I will be god damn if I am going to spell it Vampyre (well except for there, but only for display purposes). Can I tell you how much I hate Vampire the Masquerade night? There is almost nothing scarier than a bunch of over-dressed, melodramatic, pathetic losers putting on 10 pounds of makeup to sit around a table, drinking Ovaltine with Kahlua, and “role-playing” vampires. That’s right my rat and human friends, cringe in your seat. And my role in all this? I do not even get to be the magnificent specimen of ratlines that I am, I am forced to ‘role play’ a black cat. Well fuck me. A god damn cat. That corseted trollop, Pandora, holds me in her skinny little alabaster hands with the black nail polish and pets me like a cat. And I am not even black!!! I am 75% white with a gray patch on my back! (White With Gray Patch Power!) The only hope that I have is that some huge shelf of clothing will fall on her today at the Gap and put her out of my misery. A rat can’t help but dream. Mood: angry

	2003.09.03  06.34 Goth's suck! Hi! I am Bauhaus.....okay, actually my rat name is something more like: Skrizzickt, but most people just call me Bauhaus. By most people I mean the 2 sad, pathetic loosers I live with, and their lame ass friends. I am a Gothic rat pet. My owners, the idiots I depend on for food, water and a chance to get out of my cage, are called Pandora and Azrael. Okay look people....those have to be the two stupidest names in the whole god damn goth world. Pandora?!?!?!? Wow, that is so fucking creative and original. It really brings out her creative side. (And this from the girl who is always claiming tha goths are the true artistic bohemians of the world). Oh, and dont get me started on that pussy Azrael, he stole his name from a lame ass Saturday Night Live skit for christs sake. Look, I am rat, and even I could come up with better lame ass gothic names than those. And let me tell you a little secret....Their real names? Jane and Bob. Thats right, they are a future mini-van commercial in the making, their lame assed asses just dont know it yet. Plain Jane and Bob the knob. Okay, they should be waking up soon so I better get back in my cage. 'Pandora' has to go to work at the Gap today, I dont want her to catch me on here. More later..... Mood: annoyed